All-boys school student first to wear a dress to the ball

Charlie Philips has been clearing a path for diversity, but has met less resistance than expected, Sinead Gill reports.

The first Palmerston North Boys’ High School student to attend the ball in a dress is owning their role as a trailblazer but says their school is much more progressive than it gets credit for.

Charlie Philips, a non-binary 17-year-old who goes by they/them and he/him pronouns, never felt the need to be in the closet at their sports-mad school, which has forged a reputation for traditionalism since it opened in 1902.

Even in year 9, when students celebrated the Gumboot Friday mental health awareness campaign, Charlie wore glittery, bright pink gumboots.

‘‘I got so many compliments. Most were from the seniors students ... Some privately thanked me for being brave but I didn’t even mean it to be ... They were just my gumboots.’’

Charlie said the experience was like an awakening. They had come out as gay that year and later as non-binary – someone who identifies with no particular gender – and realised their confidence was starting a conversation at the school.

‘‘The people you would least expect are gettingmore progressive. Last year in biology I sat near the classic straight jocks. Theywould ask me gay stuff because they were curious.

‘‘They might laugh ... [or] be surprised about stuff but it was never from a hostile place – like, ‘How does thiswork?’ questions.

‘‘One of them I would say was homophobic at the start of the year but by the end of the year theywere watching their girlfriend.’’

They described the queer scene at school as being nominally underground when they started in year 9. Bit by bit, Charlie pushed the envelope on queer visibility.

They presented a long list of LGBT+ books for the school library to order, which it did, and eventually got the OK to put rainbow stickers on the spine, so people could find them easily.

‘‘I knew the more I did, the less otherswould need to do afterme.’’ If Charlie ordered all the LGBT+ books, with other students would not be forced to come out before theywere ready.

Charlie’s final mission came when the date for the school ball was announced.

‘‘I wanted to wear a dress ... I asked my teacher, who was really supportive but said they did not have the authority to say yes ... No-one had asked before,’’ they said.

The decision fell into the lap of the school’s rector, David Bovey.

‘‘He said his biggest concernwas that I was doing it for attention ... Isn’t that why all people dress up for balls?

‘‘He eventually agreed and once he did, he totally switched from cautionary to helping as much as possible, even asking the venue to ensure there was a bathroom for gender-diverse people.’’

Deputy rector Gerald Atkin said Charlie’s mature approach was appreciated in the lead-up to the ball. Atkin noted that multiple same-sex couples had gone to the school ball before but said rumours that gay students needed an interview or permission to take a partner was a ‘‘persistent urban myth’’.

Charlie had a number of friends who had departed for other schools because they were transgender or gender non-confirming. ‘‘But a surprising amount of people were so supportive of me wearing a dress – a lot of people came up to me in secret ... I want it to show trans people that there is a place for them at the school, theywill be supported ... there is room for change, for progression.’’

Charlie was awarded a Kiwibank Local Hero medal in November for their work as an LGBT+ advocate at the school. It came as awelcome surprise and they have no idea who nominated them.

The next step would be pushing for adjustments to the school uniform rules for trans students.

But now that Charlie has finished year 13, that next step will be a torch for another student to carry.

their girlfriend.’’

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