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Don’t let the vax divide upend Christmas

Tara Shaskey tara.shaskey@stuff.co.nz

Like a flat pavlova or a burnt ham, vaccine debate among family and friends is a sure-fire way to put a dampener on Christmas lunch.

There has been social discord in every phase of the pandemic, and vaccination status is the new dividing line.

To avoid a festive fracas, Wellington clinical psychologist Dougal Sutherland recommended having a Covid conversation with guests prior to the event.

Some vaccinated people may prefer not to mingle with those who are unvaccinated – an increasingly common stance – and so Sutherland suggested letting guests know if there is going to be a mix of statuses present.

He also said Covid as a table topic should be banned and to warn guests as such.

‘‘So almost being clear but trying to do it in a light-hearted way so people go into it in the spirit of, ‘Let’s not let this divide us.’

‘‘As long as you are giving people the information upfront – so if they are really staunchly one way or the other, they can make that decision not to come.’’

But what happens if someone does not want to share their vaccination status? And are we even allowed to ask?

Sutherland reckoned people can ask whatever they want but suggested they should not lead with that as a question.

‘‘That has got all the potential to put people offside.

‘‘If you start engaging in conversation with somebody, you pick up their feelings towards vaccination pretty quickly.’’

If someone finds a loved one has opposing views on the topic to their own, he advised to not rush into ‘‘laying down the law’’.

‘‘Go away and have a think to see if you can figure out any solutions and then come back to the conversation again later on.’’

However, even then some people would find it difficult to manage relationships with those whose values on the topic clashed with their own, Sutherland said. Choosing ‘‘the right place and the right time’’ to have a conversation about ‘‘how are we going to manage this together’’ was the best way forward, he suggested.

‘‘That is a time when you are able to keep some level of control over yourself.’’

Some relationships may start to ‘‘look a little different’’ but Sutherland urged people to consider it as a short-term thing.

‘‘Chances are, by the middle of next year we will be in a completely different place around Covid and these conversations may not matter any more so let’s not make these conversations the ultimatum in our relationships.’’

‘‘If you start engaging in conversation with somebody, you pick up their feelings towards vaccination pretty quickly.’’

Dougal Sutherland

Clinical psychologist

News

en-nz

2021-11-27T08:00:00.0000000Z

2021-11-27T08:00:00.0000000Z

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