COUPLES

Alex Sands (Ngāti Kahungunu) is a 27-year-old jade carver. He runs Sands Carving Studio in Hamilton with his wife Preet Sands, 27. The couple live in Huntly and have a 14-monthold son, Tahir.

PREET: I was born in orth India and came to ew ealand in to study business management, which I did for two years in Auckland.

I’d previously been engaged to a guy I met in India – he moved to anada but he wasn’t right for me so I broke it off. A friend suggested I try

k upid. y family was trying to arrange a marriage for me but I told them I wasn’t interested.

I’m old school in that I’m serious about marriage. I didn’t want to waste my time on someone who wasn’t also serious about getting married and having kids.

I was surprised Alex hadn’t messaged me because all the other guys I had a match with did. That intrigued me so I messaged Alex and we started chatting.

We uickly realised we had the same values and when Alex told me he also didn’t want to date someone who wasn’t serious I was thrilled.

I wanted to get to know him better so I booked a hotel in Hamilton and went over for a weekend. It wasn’t really a date as three or four of Alex’s friends came along and we went sightseeing and ate out.

I didn’t really have a type but I was attracted to Alex – he’s taller than me and has beautiful blue eyes which Tahir has inherited. People often think I’m babysitting Tahir because he’s so fair

y parents are uite traditional and weren’t sure about me marrying Alex. They said, we’ve heard thingsaboutwhitemen,thatthey’llleaveyou They said it was my decision but if it went wrong, then it was on me. We got married in Hamilton and although it wasn’t a traditional Indian wedding, it did have elements of it, I wore a sari and had hennaed hands. We flew to India for our honeymoon and so Alex could meet my family. They now love him so much they tell me that if I ever leave him, they’ll leave me

We didn’t live together before marriage for religious reasons but when we finally did, it was hard because we’re both so different. We went to counselling which showed us how to understand each other and tell the other person what we’re feeling.

Alex is loving, caring and always helpful around the house. He treats me like a princess and makes me feel secure. I had a terrible pregnancy and basically threw up for most of it. I’m not keen to go through that again so we’re hoping to adopt another child. We’d love to be able to give a child a chance and share our love with him or her.

ALEX: I’d been single for nine months when I met Preet. I was a bit depressed so decided I had to be more active about finding happiness. That’s why I signed up to a dating app. It was a disaster because I met a woman who totally misrepresented herself. he didn’t look anything like her photo and it put me off online dating. In late , while doing a sales trip to the outh Island, I met a woman who said she’d met her partner on the k upid app so I thought I’d give that a go. I was a per cent match with Preet, but didn’t message her because I couldn’t see her face. Her profile photo was only of her eyes, and I’d been burned before with online dating, so I was a bit cautious. In the end, Preet messaged me.

Preet is so beautiful I thought there had to be a catch he was living in Whanganui at the time and suggested visiting me in Hamilton. I picked her up from the bus station and was blown away by her smile and energy. The fact that she didn’t know me but was still willing to trust me was pretty impressive.

We met in ebruary and got married in uly. It was uick, but we knew it was right. rom the start we had the same values and both believe in od–I’mfromtheBah ’ faithandPreetisa

ikh. We had absolutely no issues with being from different religions. Preet was feeling the pressure from her parents to get married. They said, either you get married or we’ll pick someone for you

y mother was concerned because my uncle had married a Russian woman who fled to Britain as soon as she got residence. um wanted to make sure Preet wasn’t using me for immigration purposes. I knew Preet well enough to know she wasn’t like that and I’ve been proved right. I had my great grandmother’s ring to propose with. I had this movie proposal worked out in my head – drive to the beach and get down on one knee. In the end, we were on a video call with her brother when I asked her to marry me.

Preet came into the business doing admin and binding the carvings but she’s now learning silversmithingwithour eweller.We’ree ualsatwork – I’m not her boss. We take it in turns to look after Tahir so we aren’t together anymore.

Preet is a hard worker, a perfectionist and determined to succeed. But she’s also tender and is a fantastic mother. We’re very different but we have the same values and goals.